One of my uncles is only one year older than me because my grandparents had a kid when they were in their 40s. That would have made my mother about 16 at the time. One year later, I was born.

When my uncle and I were about 5 and 6 we went to some ranch in Mexico, where we climbed up a tree and started messing around with a bird's nest. A few minutes later we were running around scratching ourselves violently because a bunch of mites from the birds that had lived in the nest got on us and began to bite. That's why I don't really like birds that much. Mostly, though, I don't like them because I don't trust anything that poops and pees out of one orifice.